To cure or not to cure

So often as a neurodivergent person I am asked about if I would want a cure for my neurodivergent (ND) conditions.

People are welcome to their own options on their own disabilities and whether they’d want a cure etc. but please don’t push your opinions about your disabilities on to me and my relationship with my disabilities.

Those for me would be:

-autism

-Tourette’s

-Schizoaffective bipolar type

-Irlen syndrome

For me the answer is not a simple yea or no. However I strongly urge on the side of no I don’t want a cure.

But let me explain.

My neurodivergent brain has been this way since I was born. I know nothing else.

If I were to cure myself of my ND conditions I would be a completely different person.

I’ve learnt over the last decade or so that who I am is not a bad person. That I am ok as the person I am.

This in thanks to my therapist, and closest friends. Teaching me that who I am is enough and is good enough.

And this good enough comes with autism, Tourette’s, schizoaffective and Irlen.

My brain is creative, thinks outside of the box, comes up with solutions that others never think of.

I have very strong interests (special interests) and the passion at which I love these interests is sooo intense that it kind of hurts, but in a good way.

I see colours so vibrantly but also the smallest of details within those colours.

I hear classical music that I don’t recognise. It’s like my own personal orchestra.

I have met people and made close friendships I would not have done without being ND.

I wouldn’t want to get rid of these things my brain does. I feel if I was neurotypical (NT) the world would be bland and uninteresting. Things would be dull to look at and also to enjoy.

I would not love things the way I do.

However, I would get rid of:

-pain (physical and mental)

-self harming and suicidal ideation

-delusional thoughts and episodes that mean I want to hurt myself. Even if I believe I am hurting myself for righteous reasons.

-the meltdowns and shutdowns

-sensory overload

-anxiety

-depression

And yet I don’t want to risk getting rid of the bad stuff that the good things would stay.

Please don’t tell me my ND disabilities aren’t bad enough or don’t disable me much if I don’t want a cure.

Accepting my ND brain means accepting it warts and all.

My ND brain is ok, it is different yes, but enough.

So no I don’t want a cure for my ND brain.