Why take medication if you don’t want a cure?

People often convey confusion that I take psychiatric medication when I don’t want an overall cure.

For me medication is like my wheelchair. They are there to support me and help me and assist me to be able to live life as best as possible.

The psychiatric medications I am on support and assist me. They are not a bad thing, but rather a disability aid for me.

My current combination of psychiatric medications is:

-clozapine

-aripiprazole

-lithium

-sertraline

-agomelatine

-pregabalin

-diazepam PRN.

I get this is a lot of medication but without it I can’t function. Honestly I sincerely believe that without these medications I would be long term sectioned or dead.

These medications do come along with side effects, such as weight gain, tremors, dribbling, and they’ve been a cause of me developing type 2 diabetes. And then i am on medication to help reduce the tremors, and help to reduce dribbling. Plus I am also on medication for the diabetes.

Not everyone is the same, and many people choose not to be on psychiatric medications.

There have been periods of time where I have not been on medication, or not been on the correct medication. These periods of time have usually led to me becoming extremely unwell, resulting in suicide attempts, and/or being sectioned.

I was first put on psychiatric medications on my 19th birthday in 2009.

I spent a few years cycling through various anti depressents. And the odd anti psychotic was added in here and there. Pregabalin was added in and yet my mental health was a rollercoaster of mania, hallucinations, delusions of grandeur, paranoia, suicidal depression, severe anxiety, self harm, suicide attempts and putting myself in danger in various ways.

Lithium was added in 2018 when I requested to try it whilst sectioned as an NHS patient in a private psychiatric hospital. With the lithium my mood started to balance out a bit. However I still struggled severely with psychosis.

I remember on an admission to a psych ward in 2019 that in the discharge appointment with my at the time care coordinator, the psychiatrist mentioned clozapine but over a three year period my psychosis was met with dismissive professionals.

Eventually back in 2022 when a psychiatrist, whilst I was sectioned again, diagnosed me with schizoaffective disorder bipolar type, and prescribed my clozapine.

I definitely am not cured in anyway, I am not even stable in anyway.

I take my medication regularly because it helps to make my life a little more bearable. I still have hallucinations, delusions, mood swings, anxiety, suicidal thoughts etc. But with this combination of medication the edge is taken off these symptoms.

Like I said medication is a disability aid to me, just like my wheelchair and all my other disability aids. They allow me to be able to function a little more.

Medication for me is not about a cure it is about reducing the various symptoms to a level where things are a little more manageable and I can function in the world a little more easily.