I am schizophrenic and I am also transgender.
I was assigned female at birth and came out as a trans man in 2010. Although I now identify as a non binary trans man.
I wasn’t diagnosed with schizoaffective until March this year (2022) although I have had various symptoms of psychosis since I was a young child around 6/7. I’m now 32.
I feel like my schizophrenia and transness interact in many ways.
When I first started testosterone back in February 2012 I was told I would feel hungry and horny.
I felt neither of those things.
I started to spiral and believe that my GP didn’t think I was trans at all. Even though the gender clinic had approved T I believed the GP had injected me with water.
Eventually I started to notice changes which helped me to realise that I was actually on testosterone.
But I think what triggered my schizophrenia there was the lack of two side effects of T.
These two side effects (hungry and horny) I was told by everyone I spoke to professional or not, that everyone got at least one of those effects within days of starting T.
Which is not true. Yes it may be true for many but side effects are not 100% guaranteed.
However the way my brain reacted to this was to have a minor schizophrenic episode with paranoia and delusions.
As my transition has progressed, my schizophrenia progressed along side it.
In May 2013 I was sectioned for 4 months due to psychosis. This meant that my top surgery was delayed as it was due whilst I was in hospital.
I eventually got my top surgery in June 2015. I was informed I had to go to the local surgery team so that if my schizophrenia and general mental illness went down hill I would be close to my CMHT.
I am happy with my medical transition. I am happy with my too surgery results. I had a hysterectomy and now I wish to have no more surgery.
However, auditory hallucinations I have often call me my birth name.
They also tell me I make a shit man and should detransition.
They tell me I should regret my transition.
I do not regret my transition at all. But it is hard to deal with hallucinations pretty constantly telling me I shouldn’t have transitioned.
I am very scared to tell professionals what the voices are saying as I am terrified of them taking away my testosterone and putting me on oestrogen.
As a schizophrenic person I’ve had to fight really hard at each step of my medical transition.
My schizophrenia and my transition and my being trans interact in multiple ways.
It can be challenging fighting the general stigma of being schizophrenic, the general stigma of being trans, and the fight of both of them interacting.