B is for  “But you don’t look…”  #atozchallenge 

[image description: brown background with a stamp of the A to Z challenge in the background. Writing on the top reads “A to Z participant (2017) then there is a large capital letter ‘B’ in the middle. Below the ‘B’ it reads “blogging from A to Z” below that it reads “http://www.a-to-zchallenge.com/ end of image description.]

“But you don’t look…

* trans

* Autistic

* Mentally ill

* Psychotic

* Like you’ve been sectioned

* Gay

I have heard all these, said directly to me. In fact I’ve also had “but you can’t be autistic, as I think you don’t look autistic, I know someone who is autistic and they are different to you. So I don’t think you’re autistic”

You know what all these things I’ve been told I don’t look, don’t have a certain ‘look’

There is no one way that trans people, or autistic people, or mentally ill people etc look, because we are all individuals.
People so often have a stereotyped view of how we look or act, but that’s completely not how individuals work. We all look and act differently.

So the reason I don’t ‘look’ any of these things is because us as groups don’t have a look, we are different. All individuals. All our own selfs. So I look like me, a non-binary trans man, gay, asexual spectrum, autistic, mentally ill person. Those things don’t affect how I look.

Saying “but you don’t look…” actually erases so much of my identity and my life, that it is as if you don’t wish to see or associate with those parts of me.

Well guess what all those things (and more) are all part of who I am and I don’t wish for parts of me to be erased.

4 thoughts on “B is for  “But you don’t look…”  #atozchallenge 

  1. Three people I know, including my late best friend’s sister, have MS. And they fight the “you don’t look ______” fight constantly, including when they use handicapped tags on bad days. The human race is capable of such cruelty. Yes, indeed, how do you respond to that?

    1. Yeah it is very frustrating.
      I am sorry people you know have to deal with ignorant people too.

  2. I have a chronic invisible illness…I’ve gotten “but you don’t look sick” so many times. How to respond to that? Ummm…thanks?
    Blog hopping from A to Z!

    1. Yeah if I had any confidence and wasn’t socially anxious I’d respond with “how am I supposed to look?”
      It is one of those things which is just such a strange saying and I dont understand why people use is.
      Sorry you have to deal with it too.

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