I’m a demiguy

Demiguy/demiboy/demiman is someone who partially, but not wholly, identifies as a man or masculine, regardless of the gender assigned at birth.

I bet most of you would say I am a man, no questions asked that would be how you would describe my gender. Well let me tell you how you are sort of right, but also wrong.

When I came out as trans (early 2010) I made myself really quite masculine, I wanted to be seen as a man and I said I was a man, nothing else a man. In fact even prior to coming out and living as female I was very masculine.
I thought when I came out I had my gender identity sorted, I thought I was now neatly in the male box. I didn’t really know that gender wasn’t a binary of two neat boxes, but rather a continuum between the two and people were at various points, or outside of it.

I went along with my transition and continued being really quite masculine, but gradually I started identifying as a trans man rather than solely as a man, the trans part felt important. And along with that I began to allow myself to be more me, to not be ashamed of the feminine aspects, to allow myself to be open and proud of the things I like and to realise I don’t need to try and be really masculine.

I was still stressed though as I couldn’t find the label for how I felt. I know many say labels are bad, we shouldn’t label ourselves so much, well I need and like labels, I need names for things and to be able to categorise things. So not having a word or words for how I feel was really frustrating. However I started to explore non binary identities. For me personally the term non-binary doesn’t feel right to label myself, even though I fit the definition of non-binary, I just can’t seem to feel comfortable with using the term for myself. There are many identities within non-binary. Eventually I found one that fits me ‘demiguy’

See I present as masculine and am quite masculine in some ways (but feminine in other ways), I use he/him pronouns, yet for me I do not feel or identify as completely male or masculine. I do not fit neatly in the male box, I am not completely at the male end of the gender spectrum. I couldn’t put a percentage on it (although I really wish I could as I like things to be accurate and I like facts and numbers etc, but I can’t put a definite number on it)

So saying I am a man is sort of correct, it won’t offend me, but I do feel being called a man or calling myself a man erases part of my identity and part of me.

Forms which ask for your gender frustrate me, usually you can only tick one box and if they have a trans option I do not know whether to tick male or transgender (if I can tick more than one or it is on paper I will tick both) I wish all forms just said ‘gender_______’ and gave you the option of how you identify your gender.

So over the last few years if I have had the option to just express my gender how I wish on forms I would write trans man, now I tend to write trans man demiguy or trans masculine demiguy.

So yeah, I’m a demiguy, on the gender spectrum I am towards the male end, but do not completely identify as male.

If you do have questions feel free to ask, but people lets not be numpties, be respectful and if I don’t want to answer something I don’t have to.